GRE/GMAT写作范文

【案例】

14. The following appeared as part of a newspaper editorial:

"Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year's graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum."

Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.

【逻辑错误】

1：忽略他因

2：变量分析不足

3：以偏概全

【范文】

Nova High School, witnessing a decline in dropout rate after the introduction of interactive computer instruction, is suggested to buy more computers to adopt the instruction and all schools in the district should follow. It is too presumptuous to make this suggestion before detecting three crucial assumptions （开头段不需过长，简洁并且信息完整即可）.

Initially, this school’s lower dropout rate and impressive graduates’ achievements might hinge on multiple catalysts rather than the use of the interactive instruction （忽略他因）. More well-experienced and competent teacher, wiser methodologies of teaching or even more agreeable learning environment created may contribute to those improvements. Assuming the instruction makes significant differences in lowering dropout rate and accelerating graduates’ performance （同一个逻辑错误内部也可以设置一个层次继续往下递进）, being effective merely in three academic subjects does not necessarily ensure its applicability in all disciplines..   

On top of that, this application of the instruction in all subjects is in need of great portion of school’s budgets, whether Nova High School is affordable for this proposal is suspicious （变量分析不足，此处在讨论钱够不够）. After all, when the interactive computer instruction is applied to only three subjects, this school is presumably capable of paying it. Yet, implementing it to other subjects may put huge financial burden to Nova High School.

Finally, even though this high school gains a great deal of benevolence from this proposal, it is highly possible that other schools in this district are not necessarily able to duplicate what has been done in Nova High School. Since every school has its own way to solve the problem relevant to dropout or graduates’ performance, allocating excessive money to purchase computers may dwarf that spent on other facets, thus making school’s education compromise（语流顺畅，信息才可紧凑）. Clearly, a policy bringing benefits to Nova High School may give rise to evils for others （对于以偏概全的错误可以这样小结）.

Conclusion

(略) 

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