GRE/GMAT写作

【案例】

73. The following appeared as part of an editorial in a campus newspaper:

"With an increasing demand for highly skilled workers, this nation will soon face a serious labor shortage. New positions in technical and professional occupations are increasing rapidly, while at the same time the total labor force is growing slowly. Moreover, the government is proposing to cut funds for aid to education in the near future."

Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.

【逻辑错误】

1： 静态与动态的问题；

2： 忽略其他变量;

3： 因果关系不当。

【范文】

It is argued that this nation will confront with a shortage in man power after several scenarios are detected. This includes an insignificant growth in overall labor force and rapidly-increasing demands for staff equipped with techniques and professions. Yet, this argument tends to be ungrounded based on a couple of dubious assumptions (结构性语言，更多关注准确度和实用性即可，不多耽搁时间).

In the first place, the author is too pessimistic about the shortage of labor force as he assumes workers are immobile （忽略了劳动力的组成是动态变化的，即劳动力在各行业间具有流动性）. It is commonplace that workers have stronger mobility when several new industries burgeoning in their towns and cities. Farm workers, having realized factory workers are more likely to make an easy living, tend to transfer their jobs. Thus, those occupations demanding in staff’s technique and professions are not necessarily lacking in personnel. Mobility of labors is prone to make compensations for the brain drain in a certain field （小结句，点明作者忽略了劳动力的流动性）.

In the second place, reduction in governmental funds in education is less likely to bring about labor force shortage as the number of labor force hinges on a couple of variables in addition to public devotion (典型的忽略其他变量—政府给教育的钱少不见得会导致劳动力的紧缺). There is a high possibility that students in this land are affordable for their education (变量一：学生自己上得起学)and thus governmental funds on education makes fewer differences. Besides, schools or educational institutes are able to obtain financial support from private companies or alumina （变量二：教育可以从其他方面获得funds）, as a result of which decline in governmental subsidies might be trifle for the development of local education. Even though there lacks adequate money for education to thrive (使用递进的衔接方式), labor force is not necessarily to shrink. Labors could possibly be employable after be trained by their employers or themselves (e.g. learn from retired but well-experienced workers) （继续深挖上一个逻辑错误，体现逻辑分析的深度）. Evidently, there is no immediate correlation between the money education could acquire and the number of labors available in job market.

Conclusion

（略）

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