GRE/GMAT写作：要不要给科学家提供看孩子的服务？
GMAT59—要不要给科学家提供看孩子的服务？
The short passage:
59. The following appeared as part of an article in a popular science magazine:
"Scientists must typically work 60 to 80 hours a week if they hope to further their careers; consequently, good and affordable all-day child care must be made available to both male and female scientists if they are to advance in their fields. Moreover, requirements for career advancement must be made more flexible so that preschool-age children can spend a significant portion of each day with a parent."
Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.
The sample answer:
Good and affordable all-day child care is suggested to be available to scientists who need to work 60 or 80 a week if they intend to advance their career. The other suggestion is that the requirements for career advancement must be made flexible to ensure scientists have adequate family time. However, without presenting a more logical line of reasoning, this argument tends to be implausible.
Firstly, scientists seem to have a problem in taking care of their children when they are occupied by their schedule (转述argument的部分也可以用让步的语气写). An affordable and good child-care service seems to be the remedy of this problem.However, it is questionable all scientists have the aforementioned problem （对于逻辑错误的概括不着急给细节，层层推进更好）. For those who do have it, alternative ways of looking after their offspring are unlikely to be unavailable （很简单的一个错误，也分成了两类人群去讨论，这种切分方法更严谨）. Asking their parents, relatives or friends to give a hand when they are in the middle of their work are also advisable. For another, it is too hasty to give this suggestion when there lacks detection on scientists’ children （没有事实依据的建议都是没有信服力的）. Namely, it is of high possibility some of their children are old enough to look after themselves, as a result of which the suggestion is nonsense. The line of reasoning is flawed based on the information analyzed above.
Secondly, scientists are assumed to spend more time with their descendants if there are flexible requirements for career advancement (想法过于). This is illogically assumed as even though they are able to have more personal time, they would unnecessarily devote it to their families. Having a light talk with friends, participating in some social activities might be amongst their options. If they are willing to allocate all of their free time to stay with their kids, it is dubious they are able to allocate significant amount (假设关系的衔接，找出点和点之间的逻辑联系). It is commonplace that there are disparities of intelligence and work efficiency among scientists. A scientist doing well in time management is more likely to shoulder a parent’s responsibility. The opposite one mostly cannot. These flaws undetected, the argument tends to be groundless.
Conclusion
(略)
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