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2021年3月13日
托福独立写作
【考场题目回忆】: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays it is easier to maintain good health than it was in the past. 【写作思路】 经典的今昔对比题。所以写作过程中应凸显“对比”。这是贯穿全文的主线。同时,题目中的good health是一个宽泛的概念,所以考生可以通过细分成诸多方面展开写作,于是文章的结构就就很清晰。 本篇观点为“不同意statement,持相反观点,也就是认为现在并不比过去更容易保持健康”。、二段作者阐述饮食条件和医疗条件进步,看似同意题设观点。第二段尾句却给了读者一个大反转。第三、四段论述生活方式,包括时间、压力、锻炼等因素,给当代人带来的“危机”,从而论证其实过去更容易保持健康。 Decades ago, many parts of the world suffered famine and hunger(饥荒), and in some of the places, it is only recently that people are fed. Decades ago, the variety of foods on an average Chinese household’s dining table was fairly poor; compared with the old times, the Chinese now can choose from a great range. In the western world, foods used to be filled with sugar and salt, and the trend of eating lightly(轻食潮流) is nowprevailing(流行). In terms of nourishment and diet the time haswitnessed (见证)shifts — from having none to having some, from monotony to diversity, from indulgence to abstinence. 【本段解析】 由三组今昔对比排比直接回应题目,尤其是在总结的那一句对应了前文的排比。整个段落即是introduction引出话题,也阐述了当代的生活条件在两个重要的方面确实比过去更好。 Also, with good dietary supplements and medical service, people’s health increases: there have been all sorts of pills as complements to our bodily needs that foods alone cannot meet; and improved medical treating methods and medications help to reduce illnesses and to defeat diseases. These are the privileges(特权) those past generations did not have. Yet, food, nutrition and healthcare constitute (组成)only one part of the whole picture. 【本段解析】 本段对段进行补充:除了饮食和营养方面的进步,还有医疗条件的进步。至此,、二段看似作者同意题设观点,实则为让步段。第二段结尾作者用“Yet”给了读者一个大反转:虽然饮食条件和医疗条件有所进步,但是这只能作为我们考量的一小部分。 The other major aspect is lifestyle, including one’s timetable, stress, exercise, as well as consumption of alcohol and tobacco. Compared with my grandfather in his thirties and forties, my father, when he was the same age, had a busier schedule. Today, as I am in my heyday of career, I hardly have high-quality private time. Seldom can I be actually offline outside office hours; seldom can I sleep in on my days off; seldom can I take my time to enjoy a good cup of coffee on a Saturday afternoon.【划线部分是举例也是通过举例做对比,一石二鸟,一举两得。】All of these makes it less easy to keep fit and calm today than in the past, and in fact it is difficult to do so. What ensues from the out-of-control timetable is my high stress level,rendering(导致) me constantly alerted and nervous(精神的持续性紧张). I believe this is not only my case but the case of many people of my age, and unlike our generation, the older generations were never in such a strained state. This is another reason why keeping healthy is less easy today. 【本段解析】 本段的主旨为:生活方式也是影响健康的主要因素之一。本段占了全文较大的篇幅,是讨论的重点之一。通过举例论证的手法对比了祖父辈、父辈、到自己这一代在日程、压力及生活作息等方面,阐述了“现在的人其实不容易保持健康”。 In addition, as people today have less private time, they exercise less, and as they suffer high levels of stress, they drink and smoke. This chain effect, as a result of the poor time management, is terrifying but true, and contrasts sharply(鲜明地) with the virtuous circle(良性循环) in the past. So, there is another apparent reason to believe that it was easier to maintain good health in the past than it is today. 【本段解析】 进一步对上一段提出的观点进行深入讨论。采用说理论证,阐述不合理的时间管理、高压环境以及不健康的生活习惯,各因素间的相互影响,恶性循环,都与过去形成了鲜明的对比。段尾再次强调过去更容易保持健康的观点。 All in all, with those many factors taken into consideration, I find it hard to agree with the statement given. 【本段解析】 总结段言简意赅表明观点,没有赘述。 【全文语言特点】 全文中,句法结构丰富又不做作油腻,用词准确自然,偶有故意三两词点睛。没有堆砌语法现象、没过生造长难句,也没有使用生僻晦涩的词汇,于是没有给读者造成阅读困难。相反,作者使用了大量学生普遍认识但未必会用的词句,可读性高。
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