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Some people prefer famous brands of clothing, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
这个题目
学生在主体部分某段句写了下面这句话： When facing a variety of products, well-known brands become some people’s first option since brands usually stands for its quality and advancement, having longer years of accumulations and researches. 修改后如下： When consumers are facing a variety of products, well-known brands are some’s first choice, as they, with years of production experience, are sold on better practicality and durability. ▲ 原文两处分词短语结构，分别充当时间状语（facing a variety of products）和原因状语（having longer years of accumulations and researches），但facing句的逻辑主语“people”和主句主语“brands”未保持一致，having句原因状语成分置于句末（位于句首更符合用语习惯）。 ▲ 调整后，为时间状语添上主语consumers，设置with复合结构作原因插入在句中。 ▲ since通常表已知的原因，句子重心放在主句上，因此调整成as引导的原因状语，侧重点偏移至所分析的原因上。 ▲ advancement 提升/晋升，用词不准，修改为practicality and durability实用性和耐用性 ▲ be sold on 以…为卖点 ★ 小总结 ★ 观点论证中，明确句子的侧重点也很重要，句子成分轻重颠倒的话更会句不达意，论证的力度就相应弱了。